Today I learned that certain painful moments are recurring because we have made the choice to make them so. It is as if we are hard wired to get back with the same wrong person, commit the same mistakes, refuse to listen, even refuse to forgive. Although part of us is resisting, it somehow feels more right to live the moment again than to just breeze through it without fully understanding the lesson.
Have you ever wondered why you seem to be in the same situation again? Why you made the choice you know was wrong to begin with? What is glaring is that it is almost always never anybody else’s fault.
You can argue that we are drawn to what seems easy. At the onset, some choices look wrong yet they feel right. Or they look right even if they are wrong. You would think awareness of your latent instincts and mature perspectives will usually make any difficult day much more manageable. But you know what? Knowing more and understanding better still do not guarantee that you will make the right choices. You can make them sound right with your knowledge of complex theories, and yet…
What I wanted to say is that after all these years and the many lessons, I have finally realized that the better part of me will not let me part so easily with the best that life has to offer. I already have them all. And yet I lose them constantly. The best situations. The best relationships. The best opportunities. They are brought to me by the wrong person, the wrong inclination, the wrong act, the wrong decision. Moment by moment I make some wrong choices until I become the best me in the best moments, learning the best lessons, making the best decisions, meeting the best persons, taking on the best opportunities. Today I accept these realities…and I embrace them.