Deconstructing the Hype of People Skills

Posted by Sheila Viesca
September 3, 2015

Deconstructing the Hype of People Skills

Our success does not depend so much on people skills as it does on people choice. Have you ever counted how many of your precious hours got wasted entertaining the wrong people into your life? Sure, there is that occasional fortuitous moment - that moment when you start to forge a lasting friendship with someone you would least likely be nice to. It could be at a party, an event, or any very unlikely setting. You never know, right?

But seriously, how often does that moment happen? More frequently, we devote a good number of our time to this endless process: Reaching out to the wrong person. Sticking with the wrong person. Trying to change the wrong person. Sacrificing for the wrong person. Until there is no more left for the right one.

Yet, despite that, we keep looking. And then we go through the process once again.

Unfortunately, no amount of people skills can save us from this trap. Although we are hardwired for natural selection, our social orientation has trained us to be nice and all that – to practically anyone who seems deserving. It is quite natural to look outside. And just as easy is to lose touch of common sensibility, of our free will to choose to be nice to ourselves.

Because of this, we find ourselves lured in the trap of people skills. Totally taking for granted what we need to maintain our peace of mind, our point of balance, and sometimes even our sense of worth. Time to re-evaluate our people skill considerations:

You do not have to be accommodating of those you do not want to welcome into your life.

No apologies needed.

You do not need to be around anyone who willfully causes you harm in any way.

No explanation necessary.

You do not need to be approving of those whose values oppose yours.

It is perfectly understandable.

You do not need to be anyone other than who you are.

This is totally normal.

You do not need to mingle on days when you simply want to enjoy the company of your one and only self.

You have every right.

People skills can be a great asset. And our success depends so much on it. Yet, we so conveniently forget that the most important individual with whom we should connect is ourselves.

Have you ever counted how many of your precious hours got wasted entertaining the wrong people into your life? Maybe today you can start forging a lasting friendship with the most important person you are seldom nice to. The most fortuitous moment is when you give yourself the chance to be your own best friend. It could be now, it could be later, or it could be anytime you decide to do so. What you have to know is that everything good is possible with that partnership. That is people skills at its best. It’s worth a try, right? Your choice.



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